Carla Ulbrich is a comical singer-songwriter and guitarist from Clemson, South Carolina and currently living in New Jersey. Insert your own punchline here.
Carla has a love of wordplay and a keen observational eye. She is primarily known for her humorous songs about such topics as wedgies, Waffle House, Klingons, and how rich she would be if she had the copyright on the 'F' Word. She also dabbles in fingerstyle guitar. Something of a mix between Phoebe and Jeff Foxworthy, she cites her biggest musical influences as Sesame Street, camp songs, and commercial jingles for beer and breakfast cereal.
The Professional Smart Aleck has toured all over the US and England, and has appeared on USA TV, the BBC, Dr. Demento, Sirius XM Radio, and The Bob and Sherrie Show and venues such as the Falcon Ridge and Kerrville Folk Festivals, Club Med, Eddie's Attic, and the Bluebird Cafe.
Carla started out on guitar at age 8, taking lessons from a nice lady down the street who only taught beginners. At age 12, she was told the teacher had nothing left to teach her, so Carla joined the school band, playing the flute. The band was particularly- well, bad, and they played the same music every year, so Carla switched instruments every year to prevent boredom: flute to clarinet to piccolo to tuba to xylophone, finally becoming the drum major her senior year. Had the band been anything worth bragging about, Carla may have ended up being a band director, but hey, we'll always have the memories of "this one time at band camp..."
Instead, she went to college to major in music in performance, where she frequently got in trouble with her professors for wasting time writing her own songs when she should have been practicing scales and listening to 12-tone "music." So, she wrote songs about her professors as well. Those approximately 18 minute and 20 second tapes, much like the Watergate tapes, have been conveniently erased.
College, however, was not a total waste. It was where Carla overcame crippling stage fright. "I used to sign up for open mics and then literally run away before my name was called. One of my friends threatened to never speak to me again if I did not get over myself and perform. If it weren't for her, I'd probably still be working in the mall selling suitcases and dancing flowers. Do they still make dancing flowers?"
Carla's first CD, Her Fabulous Debut, was released in 1999, the same year she won the South Florida Folk Festival Song Competition. In 2002, Carla fell very ill with kidney failure and a stroke. As part of her recovery, she wrote a bunch of humorous medical songs lampooning her frustrating experience with the US health care system, resulting in the CD "Sick Humor."
In 2009, Carla released her 5th CD, “Live From Outer Space,” recorded at Sirius XM Radio's Performance Theater. The CD was chosen as a "Top 10 CD of 2009" by George Graham (WVIA), Festival Radio, and the Serious Comedy Website. The track "Duet with a Klingon" was the #5 most requested song of 2009 on Dr. Demento.
Feb. 1, 2011 saw the release of Carla's book of humorous essays about her medical adventures as "The Singing Patient": "How Can You NOT Laugh at a Time Like This?" (pub: Tell Me Press). This book has received the Lupus Foundation Seal of Approval.
Ulbrich, President of the Difficult Last Name Club and former member of the defunct trio Girls Gone Funny, has shared the bill with such luminaries as Cheryl Wheeler, Vance Gilbert, Modern Man, the Bobs, Chuck Brodsky, Bob Malone, Bill Staines, Greg Greenway, David Massengill, Steve Forbert, Bob Malone, Lou and Peter Berryman, the Austin Lounge Lizards, Rev. Billy C Wirtz, The Boomers, and Twiggy the Water Skiing Squirrel.
Scroll down for the egregious list of awards and venues played.
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SICK HUMOR:
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In 2002, Carla suffered two strokes and kidney failure. Undeterred, she re-learned the guitar from scratch that year.
Under the stress of constant "care," Carla finally snapped and became "The Singing Patient," resulting in her third CD, "Sick Humor."
This collection features songs such as "Prednisone," "Sittin' in the Waiting Room," "On the Commode Again," and "What If Your Butt Was Gone" (a parody of one of Carla's own songs, also featured on Dr. Demento's 2005 "Basement Tapes" collection). Most of the lyrics were written during her many hours in doctors' waiting rooms. (Caution: contains some poop humor. Hey, write what you know. Sorry guys, she's taken.).
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SPEAKING PROGRAM:
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Carla now shares her story of how humor, friendship, alternative therapies, occasional stubbornness, and hanging onto hope helped her beat the odds. Her speaking/ singing program is called "How Can You *Not* Laugh at a Time Like This." She has presented the program for various medical gatherings and company parties, as well as Unitarian fellowships and the Association of Applied and Therapeutic Humor.
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GUITAR INSTRUCTION:
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Carla has taught guitar at Lander University, North Greenville Baptist College, Hummingbird Music Camp, the National Guitar Workshop and her own private studio.
She is currently on teaching staff at Golden Age Fretted Instruments in Westfield, NJ.
She also has written a music instruction book ("Theory for Young Musicians: Notespeller") published with Alfred.
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MORE INFO THAN YOU NEED:
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If you are planning to feed her, she likes gluten-free bread, hummus, dark chocolate, beans, cashews, tofu, green tea, carrots, and salad (gluten free, no artificial sweeteners or MSG, no iceberg lettuce). As proof that all her success has not gone to her head (her butt, maybe), Carla does not drink alcohol, eat red meat or shellfish, but M&Ms;are fine- even the brown ones.
Carla uses up excess brain cells watching Wheel of Fortune (which you can view in less than 10 minutes using Tivo), playing Words With Friends, listening to the original Van Halen, and collecting US stamps and bottlecaps.
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AWARDS:
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Winner:
2011 Toastmasters Division C Table Topics Winner
2011 Toastmasters Area 33 Humorous Speech Contest Winner
2006 Just Plain Folks: Winner, Novelty Song of the Year
2004 Falcon Ridge Folk Festival: Emerging Artist Showcase: Most-Wanted
2000 Mid-Atlantic Song Contest, 1st place, Open category
1999 South Florida Folk Fest Songwriting Competition Winner: Best Upbeat Song and Best Overall
1998 Mid-Atlantic Song Contest, Open category, 1st place
Finalist:
2004 Kerrville NewFolk Finalist
2009 ISC honorable mention, Comedy/ Novelty
2007 ISC honorable mention, Comedy/ Novelty
2006 Just Plain Folks, Lyrics finalist
2005, IAMA (USA songwriting competition), novelty category finalist
2009 Dr. Demento's #5 Most Requested Song of the Year
2004 Dr. Demento's #8 and #10 Most Requested Songs of the Year
2004 Just Plain Folks Novelty Album, 2nd Place
2004 Just Plain Folks Novelty Song, 4th Place
2003 Just Plain Folks Novelty Album Nominee
2004 USA Songwriting Contest Finalist, Novelty/Comedy Song
2003 USA Songwriting Contest Finalist, Novelty/Comedy Song
2000 Mid-Atlantic Song Contest, 2nd place, Modern Rock/Alt. category
1998 Merlefest's Chris Austin Song Contest, Country category, 2nd place
1998 Gamble Rogers Folk Fest Fingerpicking Contest, 2nd place
Showcases:
2009 NERFA Tricentric
2008 NERFA formal showcase artist
2005 NERFA Tricentric
2004 SWERFA Official Showcase
2004 NERFA TriCentric Showcase
Grants:
2000 B.E.A.M. Emerging Artist Grant (Jim Beam Corp.)
1998 SC Arts Commission Project Grant
Other:
2011 Lupus Foundation of America Seal of Approval (for the book)
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TV/ Radio Spots:
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"Charlotte Today" (WCNC)
"Good Morning Arkansas"
"Triad Today" (Winston-Salem, NC)
"Community Corner" Somerset, NJ
"The Other Side" with Ken Mottet, Chicago Access Network
"Phil Phun Show," Sarasota, FL
"The John Show," ACTV, Gettysburg, PA
"Homegrown Music Concerts," WVIA, Scranton, PA
"Up All Night," USA network
"Lorrainne Entertains," PAX TV
"The Naked Truth," Charlotte, NC
"Horses Sing None of It," Morristown, NJ
Radio:
Sirius XM Doctor Radio
Sirius XM The Village "Songwriter's Notebook"
Sirius XM Laugh USA and Raw Dog Comedy Channels
Seven Second Delay with Andy Breckman
Bob and Sherrie Show
Your Day (SC NPR)
Sunday Night with Rabbi Bulka, Ottawa
Touch of Grey radio
Personal Best with Kristin Tews WKRS
The Mind, Body, and Spirit Network (blogtalkradio)
It's Your Health Network (KMBH)
WFDU
WLRN
WMNF
WCTC
KJFC
KKUP
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MOVIES:
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"F*ck," a full-length documentary (2006, dir. Steve Anderson) features one of Carla's songs
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SOME VENUES CARLA HAS PLAYED:
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Club Med
Chet Atkins Convention, Nashville
XM Radio Performance Theater
Philadelphia Folk Festival
Moisture Festival, Seattle
Garden State Folk Festival, New Jersey
New Jersey Folk Festival
Kerrville Folk Festival, Texas
Wildflower Arts and Music Festival, Dallas
Falcon Ridge Folk Festival
Musikfest
Florida Folk Festival
South Florida Folk Festival
Gamble Rogers Folk Festival
Avalon Nude Folk Fest
Catfish Feastival
The Forest Arts Centre (UK)
The Tower Arts Centre (UK)
Corner Comedy Club, Clermont, FL
Redhead Martini Lounge Comedy Night, FL
Central Louisiana Arts and Healthcare
Alaska Palliative Care Conference
Assoc. for Applied and Therapeutic Humor
Nursing in Practice, UK
Medicaid Convention, MT
Annual Lupus Summit, NC
Marquette Foundation Physicians' Gala, MI
Medical Devices Summit, Ottawa
The Myositis Association Annual Convention, Charlotte, NC
Blue Horizons Holistic Health Network
First Night Greenville SC
First Night Saranac Lake, NY
First Night Morristown, NJ
UU Cluster (South Carolina)
UU Aiken
UU Clemson
SUUSI
Godfrey Daniels, PA
Middle Earth Music Hall, VT
Caffe Lena, NY
Bitter End, New York City
Eddie's Attic, Atlanta
Kulak's Woodshed, Hollywood, CA
Hallenbeck's, Hollywood, CA
Kuumbwa Jazz Center, Santa Cruz, CA
Six String Cafe, Cary, NC
Main St Cafe, Homestead, FL
Art Serve Theater, Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Brookgreen Gardens, Murrells Inlet, SC
The Cannery, Dataw Island, SC
Fiddler's Green, Atlanta
Clemson Area Arts Council: Summer Series
FOCUS Concerts, MD
The Evening Muse, Charlotte, NC
Watchung Arts Center, NJ
The Minstrel, Morristown, NJ
Bodles Opera House, Chester, NY
The Dessert Club, Taunton, MA
various corporate holiday parties
League of Women Voters (SC)
Alcon 3 (Weird Al Convention)
DragonCon (Music Guest of Honor), Atlanta, GA
GaFilk (Science Fiction Music Convention), Atlanta
FilkOntario (Music Guest of Honor), Toronto
Consonance (Music Guest of Honor), San Francisco bay area
Contata (Music Guest of Honor), New Jersey
Fencon (Music Guest of Honor), Dallas
Oasis Con (Music Guest of Honor), Orlando
Conchord (Music Guest of Honor), Los Angeles
Con on the Cob (Music GoH), Ohio
Con Carolinas (Music GoH), Charlotte
Confluence, Pittsburgh
OVFF, Ohio
a patch of grass in Central, SC
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DISCOGRAPHY:
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Live From Outer Space, 2009
Leftovers, CD, 2009
Sick Humor, CD, 2004
Professional Smart Aleck, CD, 2003
Her Fabulous Debut, CD, 1999
Carla Ulbrich, 4-song cassette, 1997
Something Real, 5-song cassette, 1994 (out of print)
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COMPILATIONS:
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The FuMP, Vol. 22, 2010
The FuMP, Vol. 16, 2009
The FuMP, Vol. 11, 2008
The FuMP, Vol. 8, 2008
Hudson Harding Christmas Sampler, 2009
Best of the Red Peters Comedy hour, Vol. 1, 2007
Laughter Is a Powerful Weapon II, 2005
Laughter Is a Powerful Weapon, 2001
Dr. Demento’s Basement Tapes #13, 2005
Dr. Demento’s Basement Tapes #9, 2001
Decatur Decorum, 1999
Oasis Acoustic, 2003
Oasis Acoustic: Humor, 2001
Discmakers Southeast Heavy Hitters, 1998
17th Annual MidAtlantic Song Contest Winners’ CD, 2001
14th Annual MidAtlantic Song Contest Winners’ CD, 1998
Marscon 2007 Fundraiser CD
Marscon 2008 Fundraiser CD
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Books:
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How Can You Not Laugh at a Time Like This?, 2011 (pub.: Tell Me Press)
Notespeller, 2002 (pub.: Alfred Knopf)
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